Are You Wife or Girlfriend Material?

Many women want to be married but are not spiritually or mentally ready to be a wife. If you have prayed for a spouse then you’ll have to go through the fire before coming out as pure gold. Marriage is not something you do just to get a ring or say that you did it. It’s a ministry, His ministry, so if you’re not ready to be the wife that God explains in Proverbs 31, your mate is on hold. As I mentioned in my previous blog, you can settle without God, but you will not be receiving His best for you. Let’s look at it this way; if you are a mother of a teenager and your child asked you to buy them a car, but they haven’t learned how to drive. Would you buy them a car and place them in a position of harm and failure? Of course not! Well, that’s why you are still single because God has to prepare you before He can bless you with a husband. What kind of Father would He be to give you what He knows that you are not ready to receive.

I’ve been married before and I can honestly admit that I was not ready. I went in not realizing that I made a vow to God that should not have been easily broken. I also did not understand what it meant to be as one. I had an issue with sharing finances and submission. I wanted to be a wife but remain in the girlfriend role. “What’s mines is mines and what’s yours is mine too and please don’t ask me any questions.” I was selfish and did not care how my husband felt about that. Did I pray prior to getting married? Nope. The primary reason for me getting married was to stop shacking!!! I loved him dearly but I knew we were not ready for that huge commitment. I was just frustrated with us being a family unit without being married, therefore, I pretty much gave him an ultimatum to either marry me or leave. That was a huge mistake that I made and it was not fair for him or me. Women, if you want to be married, it’s perfectly fine to let him know when you desire to walk down the aisle, but please don’t force him or talk about it daily. A man knows when he’s ready to make you his wife, God will make sure that he does. That’s the kind of Gentleman that we serve. Amen!

Being a girlfriend is much easier than being a wife. As a girlfriend, you are basically single with the option to leave when things get too tough. You are not required to submit or share and you can come and go as you well please. This is a time that you can focus on The Lord and yourself. Once you become a wife, you are in it for life, until death do you part. Did you hear me? I said until death! When your husband is being selfish, aloof or stubborn, guess what girlfriend, there is no turning back! Get this, your body is no longer your own, so when he taps you on the shoulder, that “I have a headache baby” excuse is not going to fly. If your husband puts you on a budget and advises you not to buy a particular item that you have wanted for so very long, reality has just set in that you are no longer single. He is the head that God has placed over you to make those kinds of decisions. As long as God has chosen him and not you, you’re in good hands.

The bottom line is, if you desire to be a wife and progress out of the girlfriend position, let God have His proper place in your life. Allow Him to remove all of those things that are holding you bondage and keeping you from becoming a wife of noble character. Believe me this is not something that you can accomplish on your own. Are you ready to be changed?

“An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.” Proverbs 31:10

“Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time.” 1 Peter 5:6

Christian Dating – Settle or wait for His best?

I’ve been living a Christ centered life for six years now. When I was converted, I was in a three – year relationship that was going absolutely nowhere. I had a yearning desire to do what was pleasing to God and according to His Word. So, I let my relationship go to prevent fornication and losing focus on my walk with Him. It’s amazing how when you develop a relationship with a Man you can’t see that you’re willing to let go of a man that you can see. As God and my relationship became stronger and stable, I felt I was ready to get back in the dating world. I dated but there was no real attraction or substance, so I broke a few hearts and had to apologize way too many times. What a journey!

I finally met someone interesting with a beautiful personality; we dated for almost a year. I knew this was not God’s best for me but we shared a chemistry that I didn’t have with the others. Because of the attraction I had for him, I neglected to ask all the important questions when I first met him. He told me he was a Christian, that was recently saved and when I called his telephone, his ring back tone was “Jesus is Love.” I was convinced that he was the one. As time went on, we finally had a more in-depth conversation about Christ and lo and behold he did not believe in the contents of the Bible and was not sure about Christianity! I was tricked!! He did not believe that God heard our prayers. I defended my Lord of course but I was fighting a losing battle. The more I explained, the more he rejected. Every Sunday I would leave for church and he would remain on the couch watching football and give me an excuse why he couldn’t join me. I knew this is not what I wanted in a marriage. If he had not accepted God’s love for him, how could he possibly love me as Christ love the church?

My heart was so deep in, that I didn’t want to walk away. Everything about him was picture perfect, but his belief. I had to stop looking at who he could be and accept him at face value. I prayed for a man who loved God more than he could ever love me, and this clearly was not the answer to my prayer. I know there is no perfect person, but there is one that is saved and trying to live according to God’s word. With tears in my eyes and pain in my heart, I walked away and did not turn back.

Many women settle, hoping and believing a man will change according to their expectations or because they’re afraid to be alone. However, being stuck in a marriage that’s not ordained by God is a nightmare, believe me, It’s a daily challenge. Sometimes God will allow someone in your life for ministering and not marriage. We seem to get so caught up in our own wants and we forget all about His purpose. The way that you can discern the difference between His will and our selfish desires is by His Word. What does His word say about the person in your life? Is it marriage or ministry?

It’s easy to be in a relationship but it may mean settling and missing the mate God has for you. Are you willing to make that sacrifice?