Christian Dating – Settle or wait for His best?

I’ve been living a Christ centered life for six years now. When I was converted, I was in a three – year relationship that was going absolutely nowhere. I had a yearning desire to do what was pleasing to God and according to His Word. So, I let my relationship go to prevent fornication and losing focus on my walk with Him. It’s amazing how when you develop a relationship with a Man you can’t see that you’re willing to let go of a man that you can see. As God and my relationship became stronger and stable, I felt I was ready to get back in the dating world. I dated but there was no real attraction or substance, so I broke a few hearts and had to apologize way too many times. What a journey!

I finally met someone interesting with a beautiful personality; we dated for almost a year. I knew this was not God’s best for me but we shared a chemistry that I didn’t have with the others. Because of the attraction I had for him, I neglected to ask all the important questions when I first met him. He told me he was a Christian, that was recently saved and when I called his telephone, his ring back tone was “Jesus is Love.” I was convinced that he was the one. As time went on, we finally had a more in-depth conversation about Christ and lo and behold he did not believe in the contents of the Bible and was not sure about Christianity! I was tricked!! He did not believe that God heard our prayers. I defended my Lord of course but I was fighting a losing battle. The more I explained, the more he rejected. Every Sunday I would leave for church and he would remain on the couch watching football and give me an excuse why he couldn’t join me. I knew this is not what I wanted in a marriage. If he had not accepted God’s love for him, how could he possibly love me as Christ love the church?

My heart was so deep in, that I didn’t want to walk away. Everything about him was picture perfect, but his belief. I had to stop looking at who he could be and accept him at face value. I prayed for a man who loved God more than he could ever love me, and this clearly was not the answer to my prayer. I know there is no perfect person, but there is one that is saved and trying to live according to God’s word. With tears in my eyes and pain in my heart, I walked away and did not turn back.

Many women settle, hoping and believing a man will change according to their expectations or because they’re afraid to be alone. However, being stuck in a marriage that’s not ordained by God is a nightmare, believe me, It’s a daily challenge. Sometimes God will allow someone in your life for ministering and not marriage. We seem to get so caught up in our own wants and we forget all about His purpose. The way that you can discern the difference between His will and our selfish desires is by His Word. What does His word say about the person in your life? Is it marriage or ministry?

It’s easy to be in a relationship but it may mean settling and missing the mate God has for you. Are you willing to make that sacrifice?

11 thoughts on “Christian Dating – Settle or wait for His best?

  1. Day says:

    That is so true!! That really makes you think. ” Am I making a decision based on what God wants for me or based on what I want for me?” It creates a lot of questions for yourself and what you’re willing to deal with! I love this!!

    • Ms. LaMecca says:

      You’re right Day! Sometimes it’s easier to follow your own desire, because God may not give you the mate that’s good for you but perfect for Him. Waiting for God is also an issue that most have because His timing is not instant. Anyway that you look at it , it’s a waiting game. Rather you’re waiting for your spouse to change or come.

  2. risa says:

    You have to really pray and be patient. I got into a marriage to fast and i’m having serious problems. I know this man isnt
    who God wants me with but i have know choice but to pray. Never marry without getting an ok from the LOrd not flesh, Sometimes i feel like he’s in competition with God

    • Ms. LaMecca says:

      Risa, now we know that God will work it out for your good but it’s going to take patience, prayer and fasting. If we don’t pray beforehand we’ll pray during. Every marriage will have obstacles but I believe they’ll be more for strength and growth not because of disobedience. I’m praying for you and your marriage; I know your marriage will be a testimony 🙂

  3. Saran . H says:

    LaMecca I love this and I always love hearing you speak about your life and how God relates! You really are a force in my life and I thank you. This topic hits home for me. For anyone that knows me and my past they know I have came a long way. I can proudly say that my marriage is one of the only things I’m sure about in my life! And that surprises me, because of how far we have came. In one year we bought a house moved, had a baby ,got in engaged all to call off the wedding split up and raise our child apart for three years while we hated each other! After three years of soul searching and putting God 1st, we got back together got engaged and are now happily married. Sounds like a fairytale right ?? What made this work was not counseling and many “I’m sorry’s” but GOD. When I look back on my life I have no choice but to give GOD the glory. He let me have my life that I wanted so bad on his timing and only his. He had work to do IN ME! He made things happen the way they did with purpose! Our first date(when we got back together) was at church and Its been right ever since. When I find myself lost or sad about anything inside or out my marriage. I call on my father and I always find my way. For anyone reading this that is fighting for something that seems unreachable. Put it in God’s hands and WORK for what you want. Find you a good Bible based church and BELIEVE!

    • Ms. LaMecca says:

      Saran, you have come a long way and I am a witness to that. I also know that you did not allow your flesh to guide you to matrimony, you followed God. I know this as well. This is really a true testimony to this post because it shows that waiting on God and His direction, guidance, and approval is a sure blessing. He said “If your ways are pleasing to me, I will give you the desires of your heart.” His Word is true. May God continue to bless you and Arthur in your walk with Him.

  4. thisblogisepic says:

    Goodness, am I ever glad you followed my blog so that I found yours. You’re speaking the words of my heart. I am so not willing to settle and it’s so frustrating because it feels like all around me I’m being told that finding a husband would be easy if I’d just not be quite so picky. I’m not sure these people completely understand the difference between picky and discerning, but at any rate… thanks for your words. I will be following you now as well 🙂

    • Ms. LaMecca says:

      It was a great pleasure reading your blog, it feel refreshing and encouraging to know that I’m not alone. I hear the same from friends and family but I settled in my first marriage and I was unhappy and ready for it to end. If we delight ourselves in Him, He’ll give us the desires of our heart. We just have to stop looking and let Him look for us :). I look forward to reading more blogs from you. Have a blessed evening.

  5. Homer says:

    In my opinion, if only all web masters and bloggers would write
    such good content as you did, the internet would be a lot more useful than previously.

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