Faith or Fear

It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything, but life has become hectic! However, in the midst of my chaos I met a man, and he demonstrates all of the attributes that I’ve prayed for. We met the old-fashioned way, in a grocery store. He approached me like a gentleman, and to make a long story short, we’re now dating. And get this, he does not want to be intimate until marriage. Jackpot! I told God that in order for me to remain celibate, I need a man who understands and respects my choice to walk in obedience. I’m just being honest! Now one might say,” girl you have found the perfect mate, Boaz”, but I don’t know about that because I don’t feel a bit of attraction for him. When he touches me I cringe, literally. Maybe because he’s fifteen years older than me, and a little on the soft side. Instead of him watching football, he would prefer a love story.

I also observed how he treats other people, and he’s a little on the mean side. He also expressed to me that as a child, nobody ever demonstrated love to him, a very challenging childhood. So the reason he loves hard, and sometimes loses himself in relationships is because he’s looking for reciprocation. That is a red flag for me because I think his behavior is not genuine, but a façade to mask the hurt. Am I over analyzing things because of my fear of marrying the wrong person, and being stuck? Is it discernment or skepticism?

Some cultures arrange marriages, and it’s obvious these are not always perfect matches. They’re not instantly in love, but they eventually fall in love. Are these people happy, or just tolerant? I have never allowed a relationship to progress if there was no chemistry or connection. However, that was before Christ. I want to believe this was a divine connection, but how do I know that for sure? Am I walking in fear or faith?

6 thoughts on “Faith or Fear

  1. thisblogisepic says:

    I have tricked myself into making excuses for guys I shouldn’t have been wasting my time on in the past, and while I never actually dated them, I certainly would have regretted it if I had.

    I don’t really have a Biblical answer for you here, except to ask — is this guy that you met a believer as well? If he’s not, I have a very Biblical answer for you — run. If he is, then it comes down to asking yourself about a whole host of other things, I think.

    As far as him being a little on the ‘soft’ side though… I think it puts him in a bit of an unfair box to infer that all men like football instead of love stories or they’re ‘soft,’ and I wouldn’t base too much on that if it were me.

    Whenever I’m in a similar situation though, I like to ask myself if I could see myself spending the rest of my life with this person if he never changed. Marriage, after all, is an institution designed to glorify God… so settling wouldn’t glorify Him at all. If my marriage couldn’t be one in which I could worship God and reflect glory back on Him with my husband, I don’t think it’s worth the attempt.

    Those are just my thoughts, though. What are yours?

  2. Ms. LaMecca says:

    I really appreciate your feedback. You made a profound statement “Marriage is about glorifying God”, and how can I demonstrate His kind of love with someone that I’m settling for. He’s a Christian, but at this very moment, I can’t see myself spending forever with him. Is it too soon to see forever?

  3. dirofpr says:

    I was an old maid till I was 44… I hear you! It’s hard, but good for you for wanting to please God first and foremost – he will bless you for that 🙂 Remember Proverbs 3:5-6 – “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.” I only found your post because I just posted this morning about God’s leading in finding my own husband 7 years ago. If you ever want to see what happened to me, here’s my story – http://plodorplop.com/2013/11/07/pity-for-the-man-who-marries-me-part-deux-it-takes-a-village/

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