To Win, You Can’t Be Afraid To Lose


When you form a true love and appreciation for the person you are, you’ll never go above and beyond to please anyone just to keep them engaged. When we’re insecure, and lack confidence in the wonderful person God created us to be, we compromise ourselves and our happiness. We say yes, when the answer should be no. We conceal our true feelings in an effort to avoid conflict, we stop thinking logical and allow our emotions to rule and reign. We put the needs of others above our very own. All of these sacrifices only lead to resentment and unhappiness. What eventually happens is you create an unhealthy relationship with unrealistic expectations. The person is not interested in who you are but what you can do. And you can’t criticize what you’ve created!

Here’s the deal: the only way you’re going to keep a relationship is by not being afraid to lose it and knowing that life goes on if you do. When we hold on too tight to anything, we eventually get tired because it’s uncomfortable! And if you’re scared about someone leaving, you’re doing a lot (sexually, monetary, errands, embellishing the truth) because of fear and that means that your actions are not genuine. How long can you conceal your true feelings without eventually exploding or becoming needy? Not too long.

I’ve been that girl that fell in lust, (can’t say love) with a guy who kept me in limbo. Not knowing if we’re a couple or friends. It drove me insane, the agony of not knowing. I would give him all of the benefits of a WIFE and I wasn’t even his girlfriend. Until one day I discussed my issue with a very wise woman and she told me “if that man wanted you, you wouldn’t have to guess who you were in his life, he would be showing you.” I never gave him a chance to show me anything because I was too busy trying to be two steps ahead. I was exhausted! You hear me, exhausted from walking on eggshells. I had to let go to keep my sanity. I no longer cared about our status. Guess what eventually happened? You got it! He started holding on, and because I gave him too much of me, I was no longer interested in him. I resented him for making me wait too long. Lol.

If you’re holding on because of fear, believe me I understand. Just let go, and let things happen naturally. I know this is a cliche but what’s meant, will be. Fear will also steer your thoughts in the wrong direction, and have you second guessing yourself or over analyzing EVERYTHING. Spell it with me, T O R T U R E. It’s not worth it my love. I had to learn the hard way but you don’t.  Just chill and relax, and give Jesus the wheel because you can’t drive. Lol.

Love you immensely,

Mecca Lasha

Being Everything to Everyone

A wife, a mom, a daughter, a granddaughter, a sister, a grandmother and a friend. All of these roles wear a different hat, and how do you switch them up without offending or neglecting others?! Especially when you’re doing your best to be everything to everyone! My husband feels that I’m someone different when I have my mommy hat on, and I don’t see it and he can’t seem to explain it. It hurts my feelings every time that he makes that observation because I always want to be the same person at all times. Well, I prayed about this and God showed me that with the different roles, I can’t be the same because each person needs something different from you. My youngest daughter needs affirmation, my oldest daughter needs hugs & kisses, my grandma needs acts of kindness and my husband needs them all. Lol. And for half of my life, I’ve worn the mommy hat, so I feel somewhat a pro in that role but I’ve only worn the wife hat for a year! I’m still going through a learning process on how to maintain being the wife that he needs. Learning something new always has obstacles, bumps and bruises because it takes sacrifice and a lot of compromise. 

Ladies!!!! If didn’t have God to be everything to me, I would be a mess! There is no way to give what you don’t have but God has put everything on the inside of us to manage all roles. You must stay in CONSTANT communication with Him or one missed conversation could result in a heartfelt misunderstanding. We influence our love ones in a major way, so our hats play a major role in their lives; wear them with purpose and intention. I know it’s not easy but you got this! God said so :). 

1 Corinthians 9:22New International Version (NIV)

To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some.

Love you immensely! 

Mecca Lasha