Christian Dating, Letting Go, Love, Self esteem, Self love, Unconditional Love

When You Love Someone, Let Them Go Free

When I say “let them go free” I don’t mean completely but mentally and spiritually. It’s so easy to become codependent by holding on tight in a relationship – and it’s usually because of fear of losing or being disappointed by that person. So we hold on tight, not knowing that we’re slowly taking away that persons freedom to live, we’re domesticating them based on our needs. Love doesn’t demand its own way and this applies to any relationship.

The realest thing I heard was someone say “You don’t own people, you experience them.” This is facts! People come in and out of your life but while they’re there, cherish and appreciate who they are and not who you expect them to be for you. This is the antidote to not carrying around guilt when that one person that leaves that you weren’t ready for them to go.

I never understood how my mom never returned to me recovered from drugs, you know in them movies where the mom would be an addict but before the movie ends, she’s clean and ready to take on the role as mom. That wasn’t my story – and I carried that around for years and it impacted my relationships with those that I loved the most. I expected them to be perfect, without flaw because my greatest fear was losing them to the temptations of the world. I felt that I worked sooooo hard not to follow in her footsteps that everyone else around me should have the same will-power. Selfish me. It took midlife for me to figure out that my way of thinking was all wrong. For years God has been dealing with me on how to love perfectly – and I finally know what it means to let go of my expectations of others – and to love and accept them as is. It wasn’t easy because I cried a lot and had to face my fears, but it was worth it because my relationships have a new meaning. His love.

If you have an issue with letting go, ask God for help because with fear comes torment, rather you’re tormenting yourself or others, it’s not the way to live. He came so that we may have life and in abundance. It’s time to set the captive free.

Until next time Sweetie!

His love and peace!

Mecca Lasha ❤️❤️

John 10:10

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it abundantly.

1 John 4:18

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with torment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

1 Corinthians 13: 4-8

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no account of wrongs. Love takes no pleasure in evil, but rejoices in the truth. 7It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be restrained; where there is knowledge, it will be dismissed.

Self love

If He Can’t Handle No, It Might Be Your Fault 😧

We enter relationships wanting or needing a man to be a little dependent on what we feel are our best assets and qualities – and that can be in the kitchen, in the bedroom, monetarily or even mental support. You give him the best of you during the dating stage – and this is all good because he’s probably doing the same for you. Sweetie, you do realize that whatever you did to get him, you’ll have to do the same to keep him – and before you say it, YES, this goes both ways. There’s a verse in Beyoncé song Dance For You where she tells him “I wanna keep it how it is, so you can never say how it used to be.” Even she realizes how important consistency is because that’s the foundation of trust.

Let’s say that you started off as his cheerleader, helping him to get through some difficult situations and now he’s grown a trust that you’ll be there when times get rough mentally, so he depends on you in this area of his life. Two years down the road you can’t say “he calls me for everything, he needs to figure it out.” Why is it a problem now, when this is what you did to gain his trust?

You cooked all of your “top chef” dishes for him when you were dating, and now that you’re married, you can’t say “he wants me to cook all the dang time, he needs to cook!” Knowing he has never scrambled an egg! 🤣 You can’t put them cooking skills up when you went through his stomach to get to his heart sweetie. I’m just saying.

Them pole dancing classes were a priority to keep the bedroom spicy but now that it’s official, it’s back to pajamas and granny panties! 🤦🏾‍♀️

You bought him extravagant gifts in the beginning, and now you’re giving him a card and drawls! What in the world!? 😂😂

Sweetie pie, it’s not fair to stop doing all the things that he felt were apart of you – and your love for him. I know life happens, from kids to careers but there is still a person with real time emotions and needs that’s impacted by your bait and switch.

When you say no, reject or criticize the needs that you rooted in him – and he gets upset openly or quietly, it might be your fault 😬. You can’t spoil a man and not expect a tantrum to follow when he doesn’t get his way. It’s a lot of work 😫 maintaining a relationship but it needs to be cultivated in order to grow 🌱to the next level. Men do get comfortable, and QUICK but it’s your responsibility to remind him of the things that you miss. Pleaaaasse make sure when you bring up the subject that you’re not being hypocritical. 🤔

We as women have to be mindful of a man’s needs on all levels because they deal with so much in the world, fighting battles for themselves and us that we know nothing about. We are the backbone, it’s hard for him to walk without our support. 💪🏾

Until next time Sweetie. 😘

His peace and love

Mecca Lasha ❤️❤️

Proverbs 31;11-12

11Her husband has full confidence in her

and lacks nothing of value.

12She brings him good, not harm,

all the days of her life.