If A Vagina Could Talk 🤔

“Oooh chile that tissue is not the business 😖 I smell the ocean breeze and it’s going to throw me all off balance in a day or two. Ewww….why is it wet? 😳 I’m wet enough, don’t need any fancy wet tissues help. Yesssss shower time, I prefer that your gentle hands clean me, a towel doesn’t get to the nitty gritty that needs the most attention. Ouch, be careful with that 🪒 girl, you cut my labia last time and it took forever to recover. Throw that thing out, it’s full of old hair and bacteria. Nooooooo, not the 🔴 panties, cute but the dye and my lovely juices don’t mix well together, you know I’m sensitive. Can you breathe in these tight 👖? I sure can’t! Tight jeans only cause friction and a lot of sweat, and you know what that creates? Yeast! I don’t feel like being itchy and full of cream. 🥴

Sorry, at times I have to self clean, nothing to worry about but next time grab a no scent panty liner so you won’t ruin your pretty panties with my juices. Do you smell that? Smells like a bunch of green onions 🙊. It’s annoying to me too. Please don’t drown me with baby powder or that fruity aerosol spray that’s not safe for either of us. As if I’m not complex enough! I deliver babies up to 10 lbs, and let’s not talk about the stitches I have to endure because I’m too small for all of that. I bleed once a month, smelling like fresh ground beef for 3 to 7 days – and on top of that, having things stuffed in me to catch the blood and possibly get some crap called toxic shock syndrome. 😩 Then this rough friction that I feel when you’re having sex that changes my form and elasticity. He should’ve wore a condom, sis, he’s alkaline and you’re acidic, now my Flora is upset and this could mean a case of Bacteria Vaginosis 💊. Then here comes that dang bottle of water full of vinegar that washes away everything that I have accumulated to keep myself protected from outside stuff 🤷🏾‍♀️. To the 👩🏾‍🔬 we go! Geesh does that mascara looking brush have to go so far and take those cold duck lips out before something collapses. Bedtime! No panties tonight please, I need to breathe after this long day.”

It takes trial and error to really get to know your kitty but once you do, watch out now because you two can conquer the world, LITERALLY! 👑🐱🌎

Peace. Love & Kitty Magic!

Mecca Lasha ❤️