I received a harsh reality from a few single Kingdom men about their biggest turn off in women. It’s not because of a woman’s job, weight, education, bank account or children from a previous relationship, it’s a woman’s bad attitude!!! I never realized that it was this serious but I was informed that it’s a deal breaker. When a man is looking to make a woman his wife; the biggest determining factor is how that woman makes him feel as a man. If a woman is rude, belligerent or disrespectful, that’s an automatic red flag that he’s not looking for her to remain in his life long-term. Who would consider spending their life with someone who has a bad attitude? He’ll always feel defeated about keeping this woman happy. Now I can hear it already “I don’t have a bad attitude, I just tell a man exactly how it is without sugar-coating it. I will not accept any kind of behavior from a man and nobody is going to run all over me.” I use to say the same things before I realized that being confidant and contentious is like comparing apples and oranges. It’s okay to set boundaries, say no and tell someone how you feel about a situation but like your mother always told you, “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.” God said a gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:11 NASB).
I am the first to admit that I have made some horrible mistakes on my love journey that I am not proud of. From disregarding a man’s feelings and making him feel like the gum on the bottom of my shoe! Of course a man won’t tell you that his ego is bruised, instead it shows in his behavior. He withdraws emotionally and even physically at times. If he feels like everything that he does is wrong, he’ll stop trying. If you don’t believe what I am saying, God confirms it in His word. It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop [on the flat oriental roof, exposed to all kinds of weather] than in a house shared with a nagging, quarrelsome, and fault-finding woman. (Proverbs 21:9 AMP)
I know firsthand that a bad attitude is a direct reflection of anger and bitterness that a woman accumulates from bad relationships, personal insecurities, low self-esteem or a challenging childhood. I get that, I promise I do, but there has to come a point in your life that you face those issues head on and take the necessary steps to resolve whatever it is that has you angry. If not, a lot of your relationships will be severed and not to mention the possible health risk! Once you accept that there are underlying issues and identify the root cause, please address it! It’s a wonderful feeling once you are finally free. So when he reschedule your time together or skips a day or two of calls; it will not phase you. But let me say this my dear, if you have a confidant and optimistic attitude, he won’t be cancelling dates or missing calls, trust me!!! R.E.S.P.E.C.T is all that he wants to receive from you and he’ll reciprocate if you give it. Girlfriend, put away your sling-blade tongue that cuts him up and down when he steps outside of your precious expectations. Show him that sweet, warm and meek side of you and watch him transform into the man that he ultimately wants to be for you. There is a king and a fool in every man; speak to the one that you want to respond.
Proverbs 31:26 NASB
She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
Ecc 7:9 NASB
Do not be eager in your heart to be angry,
For anger resides in the bosom of fools.
Proverbs 14:29 NASB
He who is slow to anger has great understanding,
But he who is quick-tempered exalts folly.