To Win, You Can’t Be Afraid To Lose


When you form a true love and appreciation for the person you are, you’ll never go above and beyond to please anyone just to keep them engaged. When we’re insecure, and lack confidence in the wonderful person God created us to be, we compromise ourselves and our happiness. We say yes, when the answer should be no. We conceal our true feelings in an effort to avoid conflict, we stop thinking logical and allow our emotions to rule and reign. We put the needs of others above our very own. All of these sacrifices only lead to resentment and unhappiness. What eventually happens is you create an unhealthy relationship with unrealistic expectations. The person is not interested in who you are but what you can do. And you can’t criticize what you’ve created!

Here’s the deal: the only way you’re going to keep a relationship is by not being afraid to lose it and knowing that life goes on if you do. When we hold on too tight to anything, we eventually get tired because it’s uncomfortable! And if you’re scared about someone leaving, you’re doing a lot (sexually, monetary, errands, embellishing the truth) because of fear and that means that your actions are not genuine. How long can you conceal your true feelings without eventually exploding or becoming needy? Not too long.

I’ve been that girl that fell in lust, (can’t say love) with a guy who kept me in limbo. Not knowing if we’re a couple or friends. It drove me insane, the agony of not knowing. I would give him all of the benefits of a WIFE and I wasn’t even his girlfriend. Until one day I discussed my issue with a very wise woman and she told me “if that man wanted you, you wouldn’t have to guess who you were in his life, he would be showing you.” I never gave him a chance to show me anything because I was too busy trying to be two steps ahead. I was exhausted! You hear me, exhausted from walking on eggshells. I had to let go to keep my sanity. I no longer cared about our status. Guess what eventually happened? You got it! He started holding on, and because I gave him too much of me, I was no longer interested in him. I resented him for making me wait too long. Lol.

If you’re holding on because of fear, believe me I understand. Just let go, and let things happen naturally. I know this is a cliche but what’s meant, will be. Fear will also steer your thoughts in the wrong direction, and have you second guessing yourself or over analyzing EVERYTHING. Spell it with me, T O R T U R E. It’s not worth it my love. I had to learn the hard way but you don’t.  Just chill and relax, and give Jesus the wheel because you can’t drive. Lol.

Love you immensely,

Mecca Lasha

Our Love Is Selfish and Futile


Recently God has been dealing with me about my expectations of others, and how I demonstrate love. It was a harsh reality, but hey when God is ready to change your heart, it’s an honor. A really good friend of mines mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, and of course it’s been really hard for him. A few days prior to her condition being confirmed he expressed needing my support, and asked if I could come visit (4 hour drive). I was ecstatic because I felt he needed me, therefore, I made tentative arrangements. Well, a day before I was due to arrive, he called and told me that he’ll let me know when it’ll be a good time for me to come because this was not the right time. My feelings were crushed. I had so many negative thoughts going through my mind “How dare he deny me the option to be there for him, and I’m the one willing to drive out of my way to allow him the pleasure of crying on my shoulder.” I guess you can tell from my reaction that this is not “just a friend.” If it was, I would’ve accepted the change of plans, without any 2nd thought, and waited for his call to reschedule.

Sometimes I can think too hard, and be vocal about my feelings, so I’ve vowed to myself that I will never let anyone but God see me sweat. If I have an issue, I talk to Him about it, and I wait for His response. In the middle of my complaining, I hear “love does not demand its own way.” Immediately I begin to cry because I was not considerate of my friend’s crisis; I was more concerned with feeling rejected. I made his decision to cancel about me, and not him. That was demanding my own way. God then replayed more situations similar to this, and I was ashamed!! There have been so many times in my life that I have only thought about me, and not the needs of others, or God’s will for that matter.  

If I can learn to walk in God’s love, it will diminish all my fears, and keep me in His will. I’m taking things one day at a time, but my desire for the New Year above all else is to allow Him to occupy the space in my heart that rightfully belongs to Him. I’ve lived my life to the fullest (LOL), and now it’s time for Him. Without Him, I am nothing, but with Him, I am everything.

Happy New Year Everyone!