Self love

If He Can’t Handle No, It Might Be Your Fault 😧

We enter relationships wanting or needing a man to be a little dependent on what we feel are our best assets and qualities – and that can be in the kitchen, in the bedroom, monetarily or even mental support. You give him the best of you during the dating stage – and this is all good because he’s probably doing the same for you. Sweetie, you do realize that whatever you did to get him, you’ll have to do the same to keep him – and before you say it, YES, this goes both ways. There’s a verse in Beyoncé song Dance For You where she tells him “I wanna keep it how it is, so you can never say how it used to be.” Even she realizes how important consistency is because that’s the foundation of trust.

Let’s say that you started off as his cheerleader, helping him to get through some difficult situations and now he’s grown a trust that you’ll be there when times get rough mentally, so he depends on you in this area of his life. Two years down the road you can’t say “he calls me for everything, he needs to figure it out.” Why is it a problem now, when this is what you did to gain his trust?

You cooked all of your “top chef” dishes for him when you were dating, and now that you’re married, you can’t say “he wants me to cook all the dang time, he needs to cook!” Knowing he has never scrambled an egg! 🤣 You can’t put them cooking skills up when you went through his stomach to get to his heart sweetie. I’m just saying.

Them pole dancing classes were a priority to keep the bedroom spicy but now that it’s official, it’s back to pajamas and granny panties! 🤦🏾‍♀️

You bought him extravagant gifts in the beginning, and now you’re giving him a card and drawls! What in the world!? 😂😂

Sweetie pie, it’s not fair to stop doing all the things that he felt were apart of you – and your love for him. I know life happens, from kids to careers but there is still a person with real time emotions and needs that’s impacted by your bait and switch.

When you say no, reject or criticize the needs that you rooted in him – and he gets upset openly or quietly, it might be your fault 😬. You can’t spoil a man and not expect a tantrum to follow when he doesn’t get his way. It’s a lot of work 😫 maintaining a relationship but it needs to be cultivated in order to grow 🌱to the next level. Men do get comfortable, and QUICK but it’s your responsibility to remind him of the things that you miss. Pleaaaasse make sure when you bring up the subject that you’re not being hypocritical. 🤔

We as women have to be mindful of a man’s needs on all levels because they deal with so much in the world, fighting battles for themselves and us that we know nothing about. We are the backbone, it’s hard for him to walk without our support. 💪🏾

Until next time Sweetie. 😘

His peace and love

Mecca Lasha ❤️❤️

Proverbs 31;11-12

11Her husband has full confidence in her

and lacks nothing of value.

12She brings him good, not harm,

all the days of her life.