To Win, You Can’t Be Afraid To Lose

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When you form a true love and appreciation for the person you are, you’ll never go above and beyond to please anyone just to keep them engaged. When we’re insecure, and lack confidence in the wonderful person God created us to be, we compromise ourselves and our happiness. We say yes, when the answer should be no. We conceal our true feelings in an effort to avoid conflict, we stop thinking logical and allow our emotions to rule and reign. We put the needs of others above our very own. All of these sacrifices only lead to resentment and unhappiness. What eventually happens is you create an unhealthy relationship with unrealistic expectations. The person is not interested in who you are but what you can do. And you can’t criticize what you’ve created!

Here’s the deal: the only way you’re going to keep a relationship is by not being afraid to lose it and knowing that life goes on if you do. When we hold on too tight to anything, we eventually get tired because it’s uncomfortable! And if you’re scared about someone leaving, you’re doing a lot (sexually, monetary, errands, embellishing the truth) because of fear and that means that your actions are not genuine. How long can you conceal your true feelings without eventually exploding or becoming needy? Not too long.

I’ve been that girl that fell in lust, (can’t say love) with a guy who kept me in limbo. Not knowing if we’re a couple or friends. It drove me insane, the agony of not knowing. I would give him all of the benefits of a WIFE and I wasn’t even his girlfriend. Until one day I discussed my issue with a very wise woman and she told me “if that man wanted you, you wouldn’t have to guess who you were in his life, he would be showing you.” I never gave him a chance to show me anything because I was too busy trying to be two steps ahead. I was exhausted! You hear me, exhausted from walking on eggshells. I had to let go to keep my sanity. I no longer cared about our status. Guess what eventually happened? You got it! He started holding on, and because I gave him too much of me, I was no longer interested in him. I resented him for making me wait too long. Lol.

If you’re holding on because of fear, believe me I understand. Just let go, and let things happen naturally. I know this is a cliche but what’s meant, will be. Fear will also steer your thoughts in the wrong direction, and have you second guessing yourself or over analyzing EVERYTHING. Spell it with me, T O R T U R E. It’s not worth it my love. I had to learn the hard way but you don’t.  Just chill and relax, and give Jesus the wheel because you can’t drive. Lol.

Love you immensely,

Mecca Lasha

He Is Jealous For You

You love him so much. He’s the only guy that makes you feel a certain type of way. It’s different, right? When you wake up, he’s on your mind. Before you go to sleep, he’s on your mind. Oh let’s not forget you can see spending forever with him. You cook for him, wash his cloths, grocery shop and make his favorite dish. If he calls, you answer on the first or second ring. Your calendar is always open for him. There are no boundaries because he’s your man, and if you don’t another woman will, right? When it comes to love-making, he’s the best and no other man can compare. “No” is not a word that he hears from you because that’s your boo, right?

At times you feel like he takes you for granted. He don’t go out of his way for you, like you do for him, hmmm. Ambiguous! His words don’t quite align with his actions, but he’s trying, right? And don’t let him take forever to respond to your text or don’t answer your call. Your day is ruined and attitude is jacked! You can’t focus. But when you do finally hear from him, you’re on cloud nine, right?

How do I know all of this because I was that girl honey! I gave my “ALL” to someone who was not my husband. I made him number one in my life and he didn’t earn that position. I placed myself and others on the back burner while “I” pursued my hearts desire. Oh yes, I also placed him before God! Yep, I did. I made him an idol by placing him in God’s position. I knew I was wrong, I stopped spending time with God. My prayers became vague, drive by prayers “thank you Lord for another day.” Pitiful! There’s more to this story but the end results was this man cheated on me! Broke my heart into a million pieces. The pain was nothing I had ever experienced. I cried, questioned myself, resented him and lost 15 lbs from not eating! That actually was a good thing. Ha!

One day I was crying from my core and God told me “I am a jealous God, and you will have no other gods before me.” “Huh, what Lord?” I was confused. I wasn’t worshipping a statue or anything. Immediately, every situation that I placed this man before God flashed before my eyes. Astounded! I repented and made a promise to NEVER allow myself to ever repeat that mistake again. I gave him all of me, and now he’s gone but Jesus never left me. Wow! Nobody is worth His position; especially someone who didn’t make a vow to me. Technically he didn’t owe me faithfulness, and neither does your boyfriend. Truth hurts, I know.

I truly pray that my testimony helps someone because in the end that relationship that’s outside of God’s will is not going to evolve. However, it can change if you walk in obedience, and ask God to heal your fear of losing and being rejected. Because that’s the root of why a man would be placed on a pedestal before he has earned that position. Now, think ladies, who would you prefer being separated from? Man or God? The choice is yours.

May God bless and lead you always!

Mecca Lasha

You must worship no other gods, for the LORD, whose very name is Jealous, is a God who is jealous about his relationship with you. Exodus 34:14 NLT

Your past is a blessing, not a curse!!

Philippians 3:13
“Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before.”

Girlfriend, please stop allowing your past dictate your future! You may have had a challenging child hood that you are too embarrassed to discuss, or even an abusive marriage. You may not believe this but because of what you had to endure made you the strong person that you are today. Use it as a stepping stool to your future, and by no means allow it to negate you from advancing forward in life. The enemy comes to steel, kill and destroy. If he could, he would stunt your growth by using your past as a weapon.

We as women will allow ourselves to feel inadequate and unworthy because of where we came from. Afraid to love someone whose background does not look like ours and we wonder why we keep getting the same negative results when it comes to a relationship. It’s a comfort zone, and we find it easier to settle than to expect what we deserve. Once you let go of past regrets, and realize that your steps were order for whatever road you have to take, then you’ll have a clear understanding of what you deserve, happiness. Tribulation was only allowed to make you strong. Use that strength to make wise decisions.

Once upon a time, I only accepted men whom were either from low income households (I’m just saying) or either less educated, because they looked like where I came from. The only thing I received from these men was a low credit score and a broken heart! Unfortunately, I accepted this treatment because I didn’t know or want any better. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not stereo typing anyone because those were my circumstances, I’m only making the point that you get what you feel you deserve. Anytime I dated anyone outside of what I was familiar with, I would not have any attraction to that man. He would either be too nice or intimidating. If he wasn’t defined as a bad guy, I didn’t have any clue on how to relate! Now that I look back, I was a mess! Thank God for second chances!

Since I know and respect who I am today; I know exactly what I want and deserve. It feels so good to have some reasonable “GODLY” standards! The God in me will not accept someone that is not in agreement with who I am trying to become. I say trying, because I am a work in progress. My Pastor preached a profound message today on this very subject and the one thing that I must share is this: “instead of trying to find the one, focus on becoming the one that you want to attract.” You have work to do ladies, so get to it! Relinquish your past and embrace today and tomorrow.