I hate to burst your bubble girlfriend but if you are not content with God alone, there is no way that you will be content with a man in your life. When a woman enters into a relationship with a man, she needs to already be complete in all aspects of her life, if not, she’ll have these unrealistic expectations of her mate. What person wants the pressure of being a god in someone’s life? Remember God is a jealous God and he’ll have no other gods before Him. Therefore, be careful not to allow your mate to become an idol. Anytime you have put your happiness, contentment and well being in the hands of another human being, it’s a form of idolatry. However, you can put all the pressure and expectations on your Maker and His Word, He can not only handle it but He is willing to resolve any issues that you may have.
Prior to my relationship with Christ, I allowed relationships to dictate my mood for the day. If my man did not call me back or respond to a text message when I expected, it really bothered me. I had all kind of negative thoughts going through my mind: “he must be with another woman, or I’m number one in his life, so there is no reason why he should not be available.” But get this, whenever he did return my call or text, I did not respond!! It became a game of tit for tat. I would look at the caller ID and laugh to myself because I now had him sweating. Instead of me being vulnerable and open about my issues and boundaries; I would prefer him to feel the uncertainty that I felt and expect him to understand. Please don’t let him cancel a date or forget my birthday; that was an absolute turnoff! It was now time for me to cut him off completely. All the ringers on my phones would get turned off and his contact information was erased! Until I knew he was remorseful about his actions, I wouldn’t allow him back in my life. This vicious cycle was based on my past abandonment issues and anytime I felt that I was being abandoned, I would take the necessary steps to protect myself. I had a flight or flee mentality. What I thought was protecting myself, instead it was more like making me a difficult person to love due to my unstable behavior!!!
Thank God for Jesus! I’m far from perfect but I don’t have expectations of anyone anymore. With expectations comes disappointment. I allow God to order my steps so if something does not go as I planned, I believe everything happens for a reason. I now treat others how I expect to be treated and whatever I want to reap, I sow it. If it’s love, loyalty and respect that I desire, I give it. I also don’t have an issue with telling someone what my issues are and what I desire in a relationship. Doing things God’s way may seem challenging, especially for us independent strong liberal women! But His Word is true and it works!! If you need direction on how to maintain a relationship, forget the book store, open up the Bible and be a doer and not just a hearer of His Word. It’s amazing to see the results of being obedient.
Ladies, it’s so important to allow God’s Word to cleanse you from your fleshly self before you pursue a relationship. We can be very demanding and psychotic at times! I feel bad for some men because they not only have the world on their shoulders but also a woman that’s expecting him to turn water into wine. There is only one God! We expect them to read our minds and know exactly what we want and need. Half the time, we don’t know what we really want! If this is you, it’s time for you to allow God to be your Husband. Spend time with Him, trust Him to love you and provide your every need. If you don’t know how to love Him, you won’t have a clue on how to love him.
1 Peter 2-4
2as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. 3Your adornment must not be merely external-braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; 4but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God
Delight yourself in the Lord;
And He will give you the desires of your heart.
But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.