Author: Mecca Lasha

His Pain Before Purpose

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Chile, where do I start when explaining the woman that I was before marriage #2. I thought I was everything a man would love to have. Sis!!! Checklist was in order! Boom, bam, bing!……But what I found myself attracting was men who expected me to “hold-them-down.” Which I did because I was always told, “if you don’t another woman will.” Uh un, I was not going to be blinded by the infamous clean-up woman. I wanted to be that woman with no competition and the one a man would hate to see walk away. Honey, I always put my best foot forward, well that’s what I thought I was doing, but when God got a hold of my behind, this is what he revealed that I was bringing to the table:

▪️My good credit, that I used to persuade men.

▪️My nice size butt, that I used to entice men.

▪️My beautiful home, that I used to house men.

▪️My high paying job, that I used to impress men.

▪️My nice bank account, that I used to buy men.

So as you see, we can think we’re giving a man our very best but at the end of the day, it could be a bunch of shallow stuff because we believe those are the things that are attracting attributes……and then we feel disappointed and hurt when we end up in debt financially, damaged emotionally, drained mentally and used sexually.

This was my story until I turned to God for answers because I was tired of coming out of relationships feeling depleted. I knew it was me because I was the common denominator.

My first marriage was a hot mess because I didn’t know what it meant to be a wife outside of being superficial and I didn’t want to repeat the same behavior. 🙅🏾‍♀️

I’ve heard that you should be careful when you ask God for something specific because you never know how the answer will come. Girrrrlllll…. He took me, broke me and restored me for the husband He had for me. Man, what I thought was pure punishment, had a purpose.

That butt that I had, deflated after I lost 30lbs. I lost my job, car and my home, so there went my credit. Oh my bank account was in the negative….because I had so much pride in my status, I didn’t ask anybody for help. Those guys vanished because I had nothing more to give!

I spent 4 years with God getting to know who He created me to be….not what I created me to be. When I say that I was literally unraveled y’all, it was layer-by-layer and it was painful but it all worked for my good and His glory. 😖

I have so much more to share, so look for the next blog about how I got over and through, hahaha….be blessed, talk to you soon.

⁃ Mecca Lasha ❤️❤️

9 likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, 10 but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.

1Timothy 2:9-10

Who Run The World? VAGINAS!!

https://vimeo.com/173127170

Kitty, vajajay, whoo-ha, poom poom, coochie, beaver, taco, honey-pot, P word, or thang (my grams name for it). Whatever you may call it, she needs extra love, quality time & attention. You can’t just slap any product down there and hope it sticks. God created it to clean itself internally (stop douching) but what about the external care? It needs more than aerosol spray, soap & powder. It needs daily hydration for those who love tight pants & thongs (prevents friction) and my every other day shave queens 🙋🏾‍♀️. Yep, that’ll be me. Chile…waxing hurts and I can’t risk the possibility of losing sensation in important places with the laser treatments, I’m just saying.

Do you have a daily hregimen to prevent and treat razor bumps, burns and hyperpigmentation (discoloration), which is also known as excessive melanin production? Ladies, it’s not safe practice to shave over those conditions without allowing time for your skin to heal and regenerate new skin cells because doing so can cause bacteria to grow and the area becomes inflamed or infected. You don’t want that.

That’s why I created Mink Kitty Coat a company that provides organic vaginal products for the external (mon pubis) area. We have an Organic Vaginal Balm for women like us who shave and genuinely care about what we subject our kitty to. It has natural ingredients to resolve inflammation, discoloration and bacteria. Oh and maintain that sweat causing odor. You never have to wonder about any adverse reaction, unless you’re not following the directions or are allergic to the listed ingredients, in which you can pronounce and identify without googles help.

– Mecca Lasha ❤️❤️

Find Your Why or God Will

I never thought I would lose the one person who molded my very being!! Anytime I would even think of God taking her home, I would cry like a baby, and I mean that ugly cry. She always told me “grandma ain’t going nowhere” and I knew that wasn’t possible but it was so much easier to believe her. She was my grandmother, rock, foundation, MOMMA, confidant, security and support since I was born. In my 43 years of life, she never left my side. When my mom was on drugs and my daddy was in prison, she humbly filled their shoes. The court system wanted to make me a statistic but Mattie Jean wasn’t having it.

Even-though she had epilepsy, and would have a seizure unexpectedly at any given moment, she never allowed anyone to place a handicap title on her and it didn’t slow her down. In fact, let me try to give her some BS excuse of why I couldn’t do this or that she would quickly remind me “if I can get up every morning and take care of you and me with these seizures, you better not sit here and complain about nothing” and eventually, I didn’t.

My wisdom and tenacity came from her. I had my first child at a very young age but I beat the odds. It wasn’t easy being a teen mom but it made me better and not bitter. I don’t look like where I came from and I thank God and Mattie Jean. I’m making it through this race called life with no excuses, no complaints and I WON’T give any BS excuse.

When she left me in body, I gained a deeper perspective on life and what’s important. It’s time that I complete all God has placed in me. I find great joy in helping others to be encouraged and uplifted. This is why I started Mink Kitty Coat, an organic vaginal company because this area is at the center of a woman’s being and if it’s all good, so is she. My grandma use to always say ”if you don’t take care of that thang, she’ll start talking.” Haha! Next, I’ll be opening Mattie’s Place of Love because when someone came to her home, no matter what their story was (drugs, mental illness, alcohol, homeless, ex-convict) they received the same truth, love and kindness. This home will offer everything that she gave to who God considers to be orphans and widows.

I’m building a legacy for her and our family because everything she has instilled in us will not be in vain.

God is never wrong and if you’re going through an extremely hard and difficult experience right now, just know there is a message in the hurt. If you look pass the pain, God has something for you to do and not just for you but the subsequent generation that needs your determination and influence. Find your why or God will for you.

– Mecca Lasha ❤️❤️

Your Mom Did Her Best

There were times in my life that I didn’t understand why I had an absent relationship with my mom growing up. She succumbed to the temptations of drugs at a young age, and with the bad habit came consequences. One consequence was me being removed from our home, and being juggled between family members. My stability was removed and I couldn’t understand why or when it would end. No more hugs and kisses from my mom, or seeing her sweet smile each day. Although I was only seven years old, I was dealing with the emotional heartache of an adult. Sometimes it was unbearable. I couldn’t help but to think “Why did she leave me all alone. Does she still love me?”

Anytime I would see her, my expectation and hope was that she’ll go back to being the mother that I grew to know and love. That never happened; instead her addiction became worse. On several occasions when we were in the same room, she wouldn’t acknowledge me. I felt so rejected! I couldn’t understand how a mother could be so selfish and choose drugs over their one and only child.

Eventually I grew a resentment towards her because there were pivotal moments in my life when I needed her. From my last day of school, to the birth of my first child, and not to mention the not so good moments. All I desired was her support and love, which I felt was owed to me as her daughter. “Why would you give birth to me and not be here for me?” These thoughts inundated my mind almost daily, and I had no one to tell me anything different about what I was feeling.

In one of my prayer sessions, I asked God for understanding because I wanted to stop believing that my mom would abandon me by choice. Finally I received revelation that my mom’s journey was not about me, and she gave me all that she had. No one taught her how to deal with the challenges of life or how to overcome obstacles. Her choices in life were not to hurt me but to handle life the best way she knew how. Rather her choices were right for her and bad for me, it’s her story. Instead of me carrying around hurt and resentment towards her, I accepted who she was. I no longer question why I had to endure a painful childhood, instead I sympathize with her struggle. I know it had to be tough looking an innocent child in her eyes, that adored you and walk away.

I’m sharing this testimony to say, if you have experienced or are going through a similar situation, take the spotlight off you for a moment. It’s not all about you. Most people can only give you what they have, and nothing more. It may not be an easy pill to swallow but it’s a reality. Some hurt and disappointment come from unrealistic expectations of someone who could never live up to any of them. Of course you expect a mom to love, nurture and protect you, but if she’s never been taught these qualities or life has exposed her to an environment of pain, that’s probably all she has to give.

Instead of holding on to the pain, learn and grow from the experience and change your story. I did. I give my girls everything I longed for in a relationship with my mom. They will never feel abandoned or rejected by me because I go above, and beyond to express my love and support to them. Who knows what type of mom I would be today if I didn’t go through what I did. God turned around what the enemy meant for evil, for my good. If He could change my bitter to sweet, He’ll do it for you as well.

– Mecca Lasha ❤️❤️

Sit Down Be Humble (Jesus, Not Kendrick Lamar)

Here I am walking to my corporate lunch room with my Cup of Noodles, Cheez-Its’ and water, while the aroma of everyone’s food consumed the area, it smelled like some good ole meatloaf and mashed potatoes. I’m thinking “Girl, why didn’t you grab that leftover spaghetti.” Not because I would prefer that over my noodles, but because I start feeling a little embarrassed. Just as I was about to get up from the table, I heard “Sit down and be humble.” (No, it wasn’t Kendrick Lamar) I literally laughed out loud! Who am I to be embarrassed about having food!!!!

I sat my proud self down, added my water to the cup and enjoyed my lunch.

How many things have you not done in fear of what others would think? More than likely, that person that you’re so worried about impressing really doesn’t care anything about what you do. And if they did, you’re not the one with the issue, they are.

I’ve made so many decisions based on what I thought people would think of me, and if my false image would be exposed. I never wanted people to view me as being less fortunate or naive. I faked it a lot of my life because my background was poor and I didn’t have the ideal childhood. I lied about so much that I started believing myself and before I knew it, I was a total counterfeit. My self perception was horrible.

Ladies, I was soooooooo miserable. Wearing a mask is a lot of work. It wasn’t until I met My Lord, My Savior, My Friend and the great I Am in my life that I learned to appreciate the person that He created me to be and not what the world thought I should be. I was finally free! And my life became all about pleasing Him but as you can see, that ugly pride sneaks up every now and then, and I get a great reminder, “Sit down and be humble.”

– Mecca Lasha ❤️❤️

Girl, Take That Ring Off!

Yes, that ring is gorgeous but it could be very ugly in disguise! I’m sorry ladies but I have to say this based on my experience, when he put that ring on my finger I changed immediately! From beauty to beast. He stopped being my knight in shining armor and became my highest expectation. Of course we had a great honeymoon period, all smiles, hugs, kisses, compliments and a lot of mushy stuff! However, it was over quickly because the expectations begin to take precedent when I start focusing on what I wanted and thought he should change. I became this person that I stopped recognizing, although I never disrespect my husband, my demands were high and insecurities were in full effect.

You see, this is my 2nd marriage and I can admit that back then I had no clue on how to be a wife and what was expected of me. Not to mention, God was nowhere in that marriage. I prayed for me and not for us. I changed my last name and I felt that was more than enough!  I didn’t like sharing my money or thoughts. I felt extremely defensive and guarded. I refused to be vulnerable because I knew he would consider that as a weakness and walk all over me. So I developed a “I don’t give a care” attitude. To make a verrrry long story short, we were not as one but apparently separate people residing together. We operated as roommates and not as husband and wife.

I told myself that my next marriage would be based on biblical principles and wisdom. No more worldly stuff. I remained single for 4 years, and during this time I read books, attended seminars, and meditated daily on everything “self help.” I became a walking reference guide. Haha!

All this wisdom was great but somehow I got amnesia because the material went straight out of the window when I said “I do.” I started walking in fear and not faith. I was so afraid of not being the perfect wife and making past mistakes. I start overthinking errrrrrthang! Lol. He would say yes and I would articulate that as “I’m only saying yes because I’m not courageous enough to say no.” Hot mess right? But before we were married, his word was never questioned. I trusted what he said and took it at face value. No questions what-so-ever! Girl, I was dissecting his words and actions! It was becoming really miserable for us both. Until one day my awesome husband told me “If we keep going this route baby, we’re not going to make it.” That truth crushed me but also set me free.

I finally put God in His rightful place and asked him what the heck was my problem. Now, at this point I needed help and fast. He told me that “He doesn’t owe you anything but you owe him My love and grace.” From that day forward my mission was to stop looking at my needs and focused on his and what God expected from me. There were challenges because the flesh is weak but the spirit is willing. I had to realize that before I put that ring on, I was focused on loving him, as is. I had no unrealistic expectations because I simply adored everything about him. Marriage convoluted my love and enhanced my fear of failing.

So when I say take the ring off ladies, I’m coming from a place of doing a heart check. Have you become so concerned with your own needs, that you forgot about him? If he chose you to be his wife, it was because you loved him (good, bad & ugly). Don’t stop now!! If he has changed a little, it’s probably because you have but no worries, he will be won by your good behavior. Trust me, but if you don’t, just ask my husband :-). We good over here. 😁

– Mecca Lasha ❤️❤️