I ask this question because many of us only let a man in about 50% of our truth. Especially if we feel that he’s worthy to be impressed or if any man has ever used our wounds as a weapon. I understand – totally get it when it’s more comfortable to keep your secrets close to your heart but understand this, there is always a woman out there that’s willing to tell her story. Honey, it’s the stripper that’s working her way through college that a married man goes and see every week because he has bonded with her truth over a few dances and drinks. Or, the local grocery store clerk that’s being abused by her boyfriend that tells her story to the guy who comes in her line every other day and he’s intrigued with her strength.
This may not sound like a big deal but how often do you hear about a man cheating with a woman that seems to be average compared to the woman who’s being cheated on? Why is this so common? Men love to feel needed, and a woman that has been through some rough times and survived, is who he wants to protect. Men bond easily to the imperfect than with the perceived perfect. The conversation comes naturally and doesn’t require the guess-work or wondering if she’s being genuine or will surprises come later. Now I’m not saying that every man deserves your vulnerability but if this is a person that you can see forever with, he needs to know your fears, hurts and dreams. The things that make you who you are.
Let’s take a look at the story of Mary and Martha, Luke 10: 38-42
38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one.[a] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
Mary was vulnerable with Jesus, she spent time listening to Him because she knew His words would heal her hurt, the bond was created. Martha was more concerned about appearing perfect before the Lord and remaining busy doing stuff hoping that would mask her true identity to Him but He was able to seen right through her. She had a lot of hurt and pain that she hid behind her works.
Which one are you Mary of Martha? Does your husband or significant other know the inner hurt that keeps you at Jesus feet or does he know the ”I’m alright” stay busy hiding behind what you do? If you’re not sure, ask him or someone close to you because they’ll know.
I was Martha for soooooo long but I had to become Mary with my husband and share ALL my good, bad and ugly. Guess what ladies, he did the same with me and that’s what created our bond. We both feel safe with each other. So if I’m feeling fearful about anything, he’s my safe haven and vice-versa.
If you need some help on how to be vulnerable ladies, I recommend ”Daring Greatly” by Brene Brown. It’s a great resource and tool to have on deck, when needed.
You can do it, just try and I’d love to hear your feedback. Let’s chat.
Mecca Lasha ❤️❤️