Is it okay to express hurt and disappointment or do you just hold it all inside hoping the feelings will magically disappear? Do you ignore constant disappoint? As a Christian woman, when is enough really enough. We’re taught to forgive over and over and over again but is it okay to remember the trespass? Does grace run out? I ask all of these questions because I walk through life forgiving but rarely healing. I know as Christians we’re to cast our cares on Him because He cares but what about this built up pain that I’m feeling in the meantime.
This is cliche but I honestly feel as if my kindness is taking for granted. “She’ll forgive” is what I know most would say about me because I do but when the same offense is being committed repeatedly, now what do I do? I’m doing my best to be the light that shines in dark places but no one seems to see that my light is going dim. Do I trust in my Lord and Savior, of course I do and He’s the reason why I’m still standing after so many heartbreaks.
I normally see the best in those around me and share my gratitude for all their great attributes but when I finally decide to express my hurts or honest feelings, it’s like I’m the one who’s wrong. I’m so tired of being misunderstood. I wish I could be heard without the judgement but with just a little bit of empathy and understanding. I’m no superhero as many might perceive me to be, I’m only human with Christ inside of me. Even He cried and sweated blood when no one seemed to understand the magnitude of his fear and pain. So why are there not any exceptions for me? Well because He said “Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the LORD delivereth him out of them all.” And when I look back over my life, He has done just that. So as I sit here with tears rolling down my cheeks, I know this too shall pass but in the meantime oh God give me strength to believe.