Be Grateful In Your Current Status

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When I talk to my single friends they want to be married, and the married ones want to be single!!! My gosh, is anyone really content with their circumstances? For me as a single women there are times that I get lonely, and wonder when or if marriage is for me, again. I feel that I’m ready to be a wife and support the man that God has for me. However, I get really discouraged when I find myself counseling my married friends to remain faithful and steadfast. Are all marriages eventually tumultuous or displeasing? That just can’t be so! Somebody has to be happy!! Or is it that their perception of marriage is convoluted? Here’s the deal, I’m convinced that people expect the world to change once they say “I do.” It’s a misconception that marriage means “now you owe me something.” Therefore, when their spouse don’t live up to that expectation, disappointment evolves and resentment spreads like a wildfire!

Could it be that the unreasonable expectation of marriage is derived from being a selfish single person? Hmmmm. Based on the conversations that I have with the majority of my single friends, they’re all waiting for that one special person to come along and fill that emptiness inside. Most of them are also preparing for marriage as a sign of hope (wedding dress, venue, cake and their ideal wedding ring). I understand the bible tells us that we need to walk by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7), but it also teaches us not to be anxious for anything ( Philippians 4:6). Therefore, when there are great expectations prior to the nuptials, it only intensifies when marriage becomes reality.

Whatever your status is, married or single, learn to be grateful and content. Marriage is about giving and not looking to receive. So don’t assume for one second that it’s easy. I know that’s a hard thought to swallow for some but it’s necessary to have a successful marriage. Singleness is a time to give God all of you. Yep, ALL of you and not just on Sunday. Both statuses are a ministry and ministry equals serving.

I’m preaching to the choir because my prayer today is that God help me to be content as a single woman, and teach me to give without expecting anything in return. That hasn’t always been my desire because I felt my ex-husband didn’t live up to my standards; therefore I divorced him. Now that I know better, I don’t plan to make that same mistake. No way!!!!

Please, please, please become whole with God, and have a heart to give without expectations before you consider getting married. This will prevent a lot of disappointments. Trust me.

God loves you & me too!

Mecca Lasha

Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. (‭Philippians‬ ‭4‬:‭11-13‬ NASB)

Our Love Is Selfish and Futile

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Recently God has been dealing with me about my expectations of others, and how I demonstrate love. It was a harsh reality, but hey when God is ready to change your heart, it’s an honor. A really good friend of mines mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, and of course it’s been really hard for him. A few days prior to her condition being confirmed he expressed needing my support, and asked if I could come visit (4 hour drive). I was ecstatic because I felt he needed me, therefore, I made tentative arrangements. Well, a day before I was due to arrive, he called and told me that he’ll let me know when it’ll be a good time for me to come because this was not the right time. My feelings were crushed. I had so many negative thoughts going through my mind “How dare he deny me the option to be there for him, and I’m the one willing to drive out of my way to allow him the pleasure of crying on my shoulder.” I guess you can tell from my reaction that this is not “just a friend.” If it was, I would’ve accepted the change of plans, without any 2nd thought, and waited for his call to reschedule.

Sometimes I can think too hard, and be vocal about my feelings, so I’ve vowed to myself that I will never let anyone but God see me sweat. If I have an issue, I talk to Him about it, and I wait for His response. In the middle of my complaining, I hear “love does not demand its own way.” Immediately I begin to cry because I was not considerate of my friend’s crisis; I was more concerned with feeling rejected. I made his decision to cancel about me, and not him. That was demanding my own way. God then replayed more situations similar to this, and I was ashamed!! There have been so many times in my life that I have only thought about me, and not the needs of others, or God’s will for that matter.  

If I can learn to walk in God’s love, it will diminish all my fears, and keep me in His will. I’m taking things one day at a time, but my desire for the New Year above all else is to allow Him to occupy the space in my heart that rightfully belongs to Him. I’ve lived my life to the fullest (LOL), and now it’s time for Him. Without Him, I am nothing, but with Him, I am everything.

Happy New Year Everyone!